That time of the year...

Yeah. its been a year. i still have the book and the bike lock.... the memories are all there. I really hope whatever theory i have on life is true.... cuz if it is, you're still here man. Maybe not as a man ;P but... ynever know. We all miss you. We all want you back. Tomorrow's the day we had to say bye, and we all feel cheated, but i guess you're the one who got the short stick... live long and prosper, fly through the gates as if they had been opened just for you, because in fact, they had been. You're not alone, and we're not completely without you....

How im feeling...

Someone's gonna end up reading this or finding this at one point or another... so whatever.
I feel like shit. i feel like im always the bad guy. i feel like im fucking up a perfect relationship because i was gone for 10 days and my girlfriend and best friend became better friends too and im jealous. Its never happened before, im not used to it and i dont know how to feel about it. but i feel like im not allowed to question it or feel weird about it. that its not proper for me to do... i personally just feel like its weird, not that there's anything behind it. i mean, i truely believe that i dont deserve her, that im not good enough for her. i feel like hes not either, but that he's much more what she would like... i dont feel like anyone would want me.. im not worth the effort, and im not a good enough person...
i feel like the world left me behind. I left for camp for 10 days and everything decided to go on without me. which it should, i just didnt think about it at all. My rooms been edited without my opinion, my relationship has taken an odd spin, but will be reaching 6 months in a day :) so happy about that...
shes perfect and im trash... she treats me like a jewel though. i wish to treat her like a queen but i dont know if im doing that... i dont know if im doing things right... i feel like any second she could just throw that ring at me and leave... just like in that dream i had... i dont watch what i say... i just be me :) she likes me for me... odd concept... :P

Beginning.

So, this is the.... 3rd time I've done something like this. I've found that there's no real reason for it but, hey, it sounded fun so I thought I would try it again.

The reason I've titled this blog "Why Bother" is because occasionally i feel there is no reason to try hard, theres nothing to do, and i think "Why bother?" No I'm not depressed or anything, I just don't feel the need for about half the problems I'm having or the other half my friends are having.

So... Yeah. There ya go.

-Zkauker